Pick a topic from yesterday, and write about it

Kissing Black-tailed Prairie Dogs (Cynomys lud...

Okay seriously, that's fucking adorable.

Pick a topic from yesterday, and write about it.

Damn you, really cool idea for forcing people to post more. Damn you.

I guess I’ll talk about my boyfriend cause it was first on the list, I don’t really remember the rest, and I like talking about us. So disclaimer (I don’t wanna waste your time): it’s going to be gushy. And cliched. And pointless blathering.

So I feel like I should give some sort of background. We’ve been going out for 4 years and two months, more or less. We’ve technically known each other for 5 or six years, but that’s another long, complicated story. He lives 45 minutes away from my “house” (I only do ” ” because I’m now in college so I”m not really there all the time), and was in school when I met him. And three years older. After a lot of coaxing and crossing fingers, my parents allowed me to date him, and everything began. Throughout our relationship we have traditionally seen each other only once a week for the whole day, because of scheduling and distance. I’ve gotten used to it — I wish I could just see him whenever I wanted, but I’ve never really been able to. I look forward to that day.

I know that you’re going to scoff at me because I’m only 19 and what do I know about the real world, but we have an incredibly intense relationship that has never once faltered on either ends in terms of losing interest or not being committed enough. Closer to when I started getting ready for college, tensions were high and our future hung in the balance, but we worked it out with the utmost intent of doing everything we could to stay together and maintain a strong relationships with a 9 hour distance between us. As I’m sure many people have said, I feel as though our love and caring towards each other has only intensified through the years, and spiked to points where I feel like I couldn’t live without him at all — I just get filled with that feeling, this “love”, and it’s strange. I just want to look at him, I want to remember everything, never go away.

Going to college was and is the hardest thing we’ve gone through. Because of financial issues and other unfortunate circumstances, he won’t be able to come up to Minneapolis this year, most likely. And my parents won’t let me spend the night at his house while I’m in St. Louis. We’re going to try and see if we can’t go somewhere for spring break, or if we can’t figure something out for the summer where we can be together. It kills me when I hear about other couples who, when they see each other, get to sleep in the same bed, etc. It’s so difficult to hear about, and know that I can’t do the same. And I miss him so much.

Seeing him for the first time after starting college was inexplicable. I felt like I was in a movie. My parents were out, and I was downstairs waiting anxiously for him to arrive. He knocked on the door, and I was so excited that it took me a few minutes to unlock our deadbolt (while he’s going “hurry up!” outside). The minute the door opened, he opened his arms and I leaped into them (I mean I really did jump, my feet were off the ground) and we clung to each other for a few moments before he let me down and then, you know, lots of kissing and stuff. I don’t think a kiss has ever felt so good.

Being with him felt like it always had, in a way. I tried not to think about what would happen in a day, and I tried not to make a big deal out of it. And I think I did ok…it was only difficult at the end when he dropped me off at the doors of the airport. I hugged him and clung to him and kissed him and wanted to stay like that instead of go back to Minneapolis. Every “last” kiss wasn’t good enough.

I get to see him this weekend, and I’m really excited. I didn’t think I’d get to see him in October but now I can. Even though I won’t be able to stay at his house, he will be able to stay the night at mine so that we can spend as much time as possible together. I’m really excited about seeing him again, smelling him, touching him…all that weird gooey barf-worthy stuff that people are scoffing at right now. Sorry guys, I’m a hopeless romantic.

The moment I knew we were going to make it? One of the last night we were together before I left. We were watching Chobits, and I started crying because, well, it just seemed to apply (if you’ve seen Chobits I hope you know what I mean). I told him that I felt bad about leaving him, that I was afraid that he would find someone closer, better, etc. His response ran along the lines of laying out our future. That we were going to go through this rough patch, which in reality wouldn’t be that long, and then we would be able to fall asleep  in each others arms and wake up to each other’s smile. We would have a cat, we would have children who would love of us and that we would love and take care of, and then we would have grandchildren who we would spoil, because by that time we would be rich, retired, and in a gorgeous house with large-pane windows with yard space and accessibility to major areas and/or cities.

And it just made me so happy.


Been a While, Crocodile! :3

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