Criminal Minds

So I just received my Valentine’s Day care package from my parents (yes, I’m that kind of daughter) and it came with lots of goodies! Food, of course, is a major plus that I’m looking forward to eating. I miss soda though. I kind of want some right now but I don’t have any :<

I also got a LOT of movies, and I’m excited about that. They were all on sale. Here’s the list:

Stick It
Dinner for Schmucks 
The Social Network 
Garden State
The Hangover
Pirates of the Caribbean 
Black Swan

Random, I know. But I enjoy all of these movies and I’m excited to have even more to add to my collection!

On another note, I’m watching Criminal Minds right now. It’s so amazing and disturbing and fascinating. I really like the characters and I really like the story lines. Compelling and interesting. Serious, though. Hard to watch at night.

Anyway. I’m very grateful for my parents and what they’re able to give me and what they’ve sent me. They’re coming to visit next week and I’m excited to see them! A nice dinner, groceries, a car, haha.

This was just a quick little update for all of you guys. Do you like any of those movies?


So guys, last night I couldn’t go to sleep because I was just bursting with ideas. This has never happened to me before in the way that it did at 3 in the morning. Eventually, I did something about it. Now keep in mind what time it was. My main goal was to get my ideas out, so I ended up just chugging the images out one by one. It was great, and fun. And at least my idea is out there, so I can refine it while awake.

So here’s the assignment: make 8 pieces that use text/image with photo. You’ll know what I mean when you look down the page. My first critique was essentially that I had weak concepts, so now I’m trying to strengthen it through a theme. My revelation last night was to base my series off of old nursery rhymes. It started with what my teacher said was my strongest piece for Black Sheep. So here are the 7 I did last night. Of course I still have to revise because most of them are pretty shitty, ahah. But the idea is out there, and that’s what the goal was!

See if you can’t figure out what goes with what (hint, it should be reaaaally easy!):

Baa, Baa, Black Sheep
Three Blind Mice
The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe
Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star
Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush 
Sing a Song of Sixpence 
This is the House That Jack Built


Let’s Talk About Bodies.

Body Mass Index (BMI)

Did you know: many clothing store manequins' clothes are safetypinned in the back because the clothes are too big, despite the fact that the manequins are already unrealistically proportioned.

Ahahah, I lured you in didn’t I. Didn’t I?! In all seriousness, though. One of my friends posts on Tumblr about being thin vs being heavier and the under or overrated issues that plague them both. So here’s my two cents.

As cliched as it’s going to sound, I don’t care about if you think you’re heavy or thin. Victimizing yourself from either side is a little peevish at times, because of the fact that you’re implying the other side has it easier or at least it’s their fault whereas you’re unable to control the situation.

On both extremes of the spectrum, there are physical and biological reasons why a person can or can’t control their body weight. This can bea metabolism alteration or a psychological state that induces a certain kind of behavior.

And that means it’s not their fault, guys. It’s bad enough to say that a person is fat because they do nothing and laze around all day without the incentive to exercise…it’s equally as horrible bitching about someone who’s thin and claiming they’re anorexic or they shouldn’t complain because they get to be thin.

Both sides have disadvantages. Anyone outside the average to a substantive amount has issues. Let’s take clothes as an example. A friend complains about not being able to find pants in their size (let’s make it a her just because I’m a her and I know how sizes work for hers >>) because they’re overweight. Either the pants are never flattering in the appropriate size, or the person is also tall and thus doesn’t find anything that would adjust both to their waist and their ankles appealingly. So jeans are out of the question, as the fit can be awkward when it’s not perfect. Now let’s pan over to her friend, who’s on the other side of the scale and weighing in as almost “questionably” thin to the onlooker. They complain that they can’t find anything that fits either, but for the opposite reason. Or even similar ones, maybe. Consider this: in general, the thinner pants get, the shorter they become. So this friend is really thin, but also tall. So they can’t buy in petites, and size 0’s are relatively short for any girl over the average height. And then let’s take into account that annoying size variation per company’s standards. So she can fit in a 0 at one store, but at another store even a 0 is too big. And she loves the pants but they just look loose and oversized.

So the friends have been bitching now about these obstacles, when all of the sudden the thin girl says “wait a minute, at least there’s always something IN your size! (let’s assume the “heavier” girl is oh, a size 10-12?)”. The heavier girl is infuriated by this insensitive comment and retaliates with a “Oh yeah, well at least you can say you wear a size 0 and you look good in everything”. But both girls are in the wrong.

Let’s use my experience as an example (and I want to emphasize that I am NOT using this as a forum for bitching and victimizing myself. These are just feelings that I have, and I in no way want to imply or DO imply that anyone else’s issues concerning this subject are any less important or legitimate): I feel little guilt in saying that I am a naturally small person. Part of it might be my heritage, and all of it is biochemical and biological in nature. I am 100 pounds and 5’5″, wearing on average a size 0-2, sometimes a 00 if the store’s size fits. I’ve always been thin. I’ve always been able to stay at around 100 without gaining or losing much weight. Now let’s PRETEND I’m the thinner friend who was just told that at least I get to say I wear a size 0. But now let’s take into account the connotations that come with being a size 0. While on the outside it might seem like the idel body shape (and I suppose in many instances it is), there’s a lot of subtle glaring going on in the back for jealousy or whatever other reason. So I don’t want to flaunt, perse, that I wear a size zero or that I weigh what I do. This is because the responses I get are of complete and utter shock and awe, to the point that it makes me feel uncomfortable. I imagine this is equally as unpleasant for anyone who feels they are on the other side of the spectrum, and neither side is deserving on this treatment.

Okay so now let’s pretend I want to exercise (I promise I did want to at one point…><). I mention to friends who consider themselves average or even a little overweight or whatever their perception of themselves is that I want to start working out when I go to college to stay in shape. I get sneers. I get a lot of “don’t even talk to me” snarls headed my direction. And my heavier friend is over talking to some other people now about how she could really go for a slice of pizza right now and a bag of chips. Now everyone talking to her gives her looks as if to say “really? Do you really need that?” and all of the sudden she’s wishing she had said she had a craving for a salad, just to save face.

And one of my friends mentioned the other day how there’s so much more than just controlling food intake and pants sizes that determine if a person is fat or thin, in shape or out of shape. The term “big boned”, while slightly humorous, is in part true. You can only be as thin as your body lets you, and sometimes that appears to be more or less than others. And let’s not forget muscles as a factor, because they add a significant amount of weight on the scale. I have no muscle and I’m completely out of shape. But I’m told to shut up about exercise because I don’t need it and to the naked eye I seem to be in prime shape. But that’s not the case at all, and I can tell you this from experience, haha.

Now let’s pan to yet another friend, who maybe is only a 5-6 in pants size (from my experience, anything above a 4 seems to be something to complain about…?). She looks a little heavier, a little meatier, than me. And when she mentions pizza she gets judgmental looks and people WISH she’d go exercise. Little do they know, she’s exercising almost to an unhealthy point. 10 miles on the treadmill a day and more on weekends, plus additional core exercise.

So let’s be honest here. This person exercises more than I think I have in my lifetime, but she’s still considered heavier because of her appearance. But when talking to her, you learn that she’s “bigger boned” and her family might naturally be “larger”. And then you learn that she’s lost as much weight as safely possible and that most of the “bulk” is, in fact, muscle. Let’s then push her farther and make her anorexic. She now follows this strict regiment and eats only an apple a day, if that. By the time she’s borderline hospitalized, her skin is hanging off of her bones and you can see the definition in every single muscle in her body. Her lowest weight is now 110. Now let’s take me, just roaming around aimlessly being lazy and clueless, eating pizza and drinking soda and not exercising daily, weighing at maximum 105.

This isn’t anyone’s fault. It’s not my fault, it’s not their fault. It’s just the way we were built. A size 4 isn’t bad, guys. A size 6 isn’t bad, as far as I’m concerned. Really, no size is bad. What bothers me (on both sides) is when the person can do something, consciously, and chooses not to. Or most importantly, doesn’t even want to consider the effort. It’s one thing to try really hard to exercise and eat healthy and not progress as quickly as possible. It’s another thing to just complain about it and scoff at the idea of taking initiative. It’s equally as annoying when someone who’s thin complains about not being able to gain weight, while watching them eating nothing more than a salad each day.

So this has been a long post, and I’m sure there are plenty of reasons for you to jump down my throat about what I’ve said, but I really do feel like it’s become a huge them vs them that shouldn’t exist.

I don’t think either is worse than the other. I don’t think I’m any more a victim of my 100 pound body I can’t necessarily control than a 300-pound body with equal difficulties. Both sides have to deal with obstacles and disapproval, and both reserve an equal right to bitch about their situation.

So. Now I’m tired and I’m going to collapse and not exercise, even though I should because I could do with some muscle mass. But grocery day is fast approaching, so that’ll probably be my time to heave-ho and collapse in my pile of food xD


Oh my, I have over 1,000 views! I’ve been waiting for this day…is that sad? It’s exciting to me though – that’s a lot of views! Especially for a blog that I didn’t expect to become much. Other blogs/online journals I’ve had in the past got lucky if they got 20 views total. So it’s nice to know that this one is getting more recognition – makes me want to write more worthy stuff!

On that note, as a “reward” to my wonderful readers I’ve posted a link to my Pinterest account, which I use on a daily basis. So not only can you read about my thoughts etc, but you can see the types of images I really like!

Again, thank you readers~

Philosophy is Nothing To Scoff At…

sigmund freud

Good lord, people, it really is nothing to scoff at. I mean I don’t devalue anyone who doesn’t have a taste for it, but God you have to at least respect some of the minds that contributed to its development. So why am I going on about this? Mostly because of the fact that the class I’m taking has actually -given- me headaches from thinking about the content. Not to say that I didn’t think hard about the things I read and tackled in high school, but this was a whole new level of mental effort. Freud wasn’t too bad; I’ve read things at a slightly higher level. After having read 19th century novels senior year, reading 20th century texts was a lot easier, syntactically. Anyway. The first thing we read was Freud’s Beyond the Pleasure Principle, which was incredibly fascinating and, all things considered, an enjoyable read. I had to write a 1-2 page paper called a scholarly note, and I just got the resulting comments back today. I got a good solid grade on it, which I’m happy about, and I now know how specific to be/how much to cite the text in my paper. Which helps me a lot in terms of figuring out what the teacher is looking for.

The next exert wasn’t quite as easy. Heidegger‘s Being and Time introduction is something that I would be fine with never reading again…it’s SO CONFUSING. Everything feels circular, and everything feels so completely abstract and beyond any normal comprehensibility. I still don’t entirely understand it, and I know that my paper suffered from this fact. But it’s all a learning experience, and I really feel like I’m going to improve and be the better for it.

So guys, next time you start shunning philosophy, why don’t you try reading about Being and being and phenomenology D:

I Took a Break, But Learned A Lot


It's for real, yo.

Hey guys, so I’m sorry about not posting. I feel like a broken record… >< Anyway. I’ve been absent because I’ve been on a really really weird sleep schedule. And, I’ve been watching a lot of documentary movies lately. So I’m going to give you a review on 3 of them now.

Brother’s Keeper: This movie is about the death and speculated murder of one of four of the Ward brothers. The accused is one of these said brothers, whose innocence is the main subject of this film. While initially he signed a confession, he recants it and goes to trial pleading innocent, by reason of confusion and manipulation. It’s an incredibly eye-opening and intriguing movie about the difference between urban and rural peoples. The remaining three brothers live in destitute conditions, and are all relatively illiterate and uneducated. The accused claims that he was confused and manipulated by statements he didn’t understand into making a confession. His small town agrees with him in what appears to be an interesting social phenomenon. This is interesting because the Wards were considered outcasts who were never given a second glance, and yet they made friend of the whole town as a result of the circumstances surrounding their brother’s death. The movie, in whole, displays a fascinating dynamic between the mentalities of a small-town group of people vs. the big-town lawyers and political powers. By the end, the interest focuses less on the actual story and more on the growing community and the look into a truly rural lifestyle.

Two Weeks in Hell: This movie is drastically different. I’ve been on a special ops military kick recently, haha. Anyway. This movie is a documentary about the 2-week “interview” process in becoming eligible to train as a green beret. The movie is divided into two parts, in which the crew follows students in this grueling process from day one to the final test. I think what was most fascinating was how mentally and physically taxing this two weeks was on the young men who tried out. It’s beyond comprehension; it’s all about bringing them to their breaking point and watching how they handle it. While it’s a horrible thing to watch, it makes sense. Being a part of the Green Berets is a taxing and intense job, and being babied through training wouldn’t make sense. It would actually be worse. And the movie makes such a good point of this. And it helps to know that the instructors were once in the same shoes and have been in the field, and so what appears inhuman is really from real-world experiences.

Declining by Degrees: Wow, this movie. Just wow. It’s basically an examination on the quality of higher education and the reasons behind its shortcomings or accomplishments. It talks with teachers and students from state and private universities about teaching and the college experience. It’s really depressing to see the lack of effort that’s passable in large universities, and it’s even more depressing to see students with so much potential forced to go to lower-level schools because of financial shortcomings. There are students graduating that have worked their ass off, and students that are graduating that have coasted by. It makes me feel so lucky that I’m able to go to a school like MCAD and have the luxury of a private education. It also makes me incredibly thankful for my high school education and how over-prepared I felt after leaving and how I feel now.

I recommend all of these movies. I hope you enjoyed my reviews, there probably will be more to come. I have a lot of tabs with documentaries open, yay! Haha.

I Need To Post More Consistently.

Image representing Behance as depicted in Crun...

Great Service! <3

I haven’t gotten a lot of prompts from Post a Day though? Anyway. Maybe I’ll try to post once to twice a week as a general rule. I’ll set up days as I figure out my schedule.

Anyway, this is sort of another shameless self-promotion post. As you know, I’ve been working really hard to try and find an accessible and manageable job that I can do from my school. Unfortunately, I’ve been unable to find anything that fits my criteria and that would consider me, so I’m starting to try and do some freelance work. That being said, I would truly appreciate any recommendations you’re willing to throw to your friends about me. I’ve uploaded and updated my Behance profile so that you can all see current works.

So here’s the thing – I recently put a lot of (well maybe not a lot, more like a small grouping) prints up for sale on my Behance, so check it out! Maybe you’ll like something? I still have to work out some of the logistics, but take a look.


First Personal Drawing of the New Year~

Hey guys, so I was bored tonight and I decided to do a sketch of a horse skull as a sort of baby-step kickstart to my personal project that’s been ongoing. Oh and if you forgot, my project is basically drawing animal bones and then maybe stylizing them a bit. It’ll just be something to do when I have free time.

Anyway, here’s the first piece, in sketch form!

New Theme!

Portrait of Sigmund Freud

Hey, so it’s been a pretty dull few days, but I changed my theme up just a bit. Hope you like it!

Also, on another subject, my classes have been going well. Here’s a quick update on all of them, day by day!
Drawing 1 (Monday, 1-6): This will probably by far be my worst class, but maybe it’ll get better once I get used to it all. Basically it’s a bunch of still life drawings, which is boring anyway for me, but oh well. I’ll learn a lot, I know. The first project is due Monday and it’s going to be very difficult to finish…or at least push myself to, haha! Anyway. The teacher is decent and there are people in the class that I know, which is good. Hey, maybe I’ll even improve!

Creative Breakthroughs in 20th Century Thought (Monday, 6:30-9): Well it’s unfortunate that I have this class after standing for five hours…but I think I’m going to really enjoy it. The first seven weeks are on existential thinking and confronting ones’ existence…which is pretty intense. And a paper every week…so by next Monday I need to read some Freud and write a 1-2 page paper, but I really think I can do it. It’ll be exciting…an enriching academic class, I hope.

Media 2 (Tuesday, 1-6): This class is soo fun! I enjoy the classroom atmosphere and the teacher is great. The conceptual level is so much higher than that of last year, and it’s refreshingly challenging in a totally different way than before. Our first project went pretty well, and the next level of the assignment is to make a book. I haven’t started…and I know I should have…but anyway. I’m excited about it nonetheless.

Intro to Graphic Design (Wednesday, 1-6): This class most certainly is challenging.   The teacher explains things…a little weirdly, so it’s hard to adjust to his line of thinking. I think it’ll just take some getting used to. Or I hope, at least. I didn’t do my first project quite right, but we have a chance to fix and edit it, so I was working on that for a few hours tonight. Although I realize that I probably should have been doing other more pressing homework. Or chores or something. But naaah. It’s still early, I might do some other homework yet.

History of Graphic Design (Friday, 9:30-12): My only early class, isn’t that awesome?! Anyway, I really like the teacher, and the class sounds really fun. The first day, we talked about the progression of writing throughout the ages, beginning with cuneiform and ending in modern written dialects. She talks pretty fast, but it’s a fun class. I really enjoy it, and I like art history classes anyway.

So that was my week, and I have a WHOLE lot of work to do! I think I’ll be okay though. I’m trying to not procrastinate, but it’s going to take some time. I have to buck up enough to start before the day it’s due, ahah. Wish me luck!

I hope that everyone else’s semester is going alright, whether you’re a teacher or a student or something else! And if you’re not in school, then I hope winter isn’t too chilly for you. Happy living!

Fevers and Mirrors

This is a great album.

Alright so,  I know I was supposed to do the daily post thing. Except since Thursday evening I’ve had this really weird fluctuating flu that just wouldn’t go away. I’d feel fine one minute, then all of the sudden my fever would show up and spike to 102.9 (its peak). So that really sucked. What sucked more was being so freezing cold I had to huddle under every blanket I own in every sweater I could smash into quickly…which meant that when the fever would inevitably break for a few hours, I would have to start sweating like a pig and strip off everything and try my hardest to cool off before I melted. And my sleep schedule has been meeessed up. So yeah. Anyway, I PROMISE I’ll start!><